Friday, October 30, 2009

the hard life

guns up
funs over
gun shot
bullet wounds
emergency
hospitialized
go home
get some rest
sleep tight
wake up
eggs and bacon
nice touch
bandage off
guns up
the game don't stop
just watch.

wait to smell the roses
when the casket closes

my mind

caged
but free to go
locked up
in my own self doubt
self loathing
a fine dose
of retribution

finding myself left for dead
and lost in time
as it passes by
but stops for a moment
sways a little
extends a hand

but i don't take it.

bound
to the idea that all i do is wrong
all i feel is to be mistrusted
choking on the truth
when the truth, surfaces
so rarely

but always.
it is always rejected.

some have faith.
i have doubt
i have judgement
prejudice in fact.
blame
shame
fire
aching pains inside me
and than a cold chill
that within me grows stronger still.

i'm hot and i'm cold.
yes
but really always no
cloudy gaze
murky waters in my soul
my mind so still, so tranquil
but haunted daily
tormented
caged
in this gutter i call my mind.

now let us do the time warp, again.

old friend

hey pretty
hope life is treating you with silver platters
and moonbeams
raindrops on roses
and whiskers on kittens
with the sound of music

hey lady
hope the red is still vibrant
and the stripes are still black
and the worlds still spinning
as i know your not coming back
hold on tight
to those ropes that we left
recreate all those moments
i know we loved best

feel the freedom life has given you
keep those tears from falling
and those ribbons tied in bows
hope you still wear your rainboots
when you go out in the cold

hey babe
take a walk on the wild side
rewrite our stories
and history at that
and make a better friend this time
one that will come back
and dont forget to hold your nose
up high in the air
and turn your back to anyone
who doesn't show you care
breathe when is necessary
but never stop
to check
check if your old friends are there
cause their never coming back

the reckoning

why does the world work this way? 
why give a guy some hope, 
and take it away. 
goodbye cruel cruel world. 
ill be watching from pluto when you explode.
ill be hanging from a star 
dancing on the sun
swinging from the rings of saturn
and laughing from the stars above
ill laugh so hard
so mightily 
ill shake you as you go
ill watch those tiny pieces,
fly
fly 
soar 
soar through the sky
and cascade down 
down to oblivion
good bye cruel cruel world
ill be watching when you explode

free us

master?
my master, destroyer of worlds
can you hear me master?
can you hear me bleeding?
freezing, in time
waiting
floating, lost in space
but not quite
master?
can you hear me?
we're tied down to this rock
it floats, but shakes
and slowly it breaks
chained to this rock
bound to its flesh
hooks in our back
its skin in our face
master?
my master, destroyer of worlds

let my people go
master?
my master, destroyer of worlds
im calling
don't deny me
set my people free
we're locked on this planet
not where we want to be
bring us to that holyland
and let my people breathe
master?
can you hear me master?
my master, destroyer of worlds
let my people go

Woman's curse

razor sharp
cookie cutter
smooth lines
soft skin
round
full
warm
lively
dangerous
hypnotizing
beautiful
drag you down
bring you up
capture
enrapture
everything, everyone
mine
yours
hot flesh, skin

Thursday, October 29, 2009

not done

where do you get your nerve?
where do you get that grit
you drag us down
you make us quit!

now tell me where do you get that wit?
tell me where do you get that grin?
where do you find the time
the time to smile in our faces
when you're turning around our dime

tell me how do you sleep at night?
how do you continue to fight?
tell me where do you get your nerve.
and pass some to me,
so i can be
as shallow as you
a shallow, shell

no backbone
hopeless.
and yet so strong.

white lights

baby, baby in your baggy blue jeans
won't you dance up close to me?
not so much that we can touch
but let the heat rise within us
deprive ourselves from our lust
its a night for dancing
its a fast night
with white lights
let me creep up next to you
spin away and you follow suit
baby, baby in your baggy blue jeans
fuck this noise
lets make this fire
breathe
breathe...
breathe.

Monday, October 26, 2009

oh i would love to be
under the sea
with the sounds of rushing water
in my ears
the dark murky depths
obliterating my line of sight
as its hard to swallow the heavy weighted water
when you try to catch your breath
the water circles in
and rips apart your insides
making your body thrash about
rivel
and without a sound
your body is found
washed up on peetree island

now wouldn't you rather a lovely bunch of cyanide pills.
oh, there aint much use in trying
when you really rather be dying
why not take the easy route.

a legend

i would like to bring back
creative crack
that music that moves your mind body and soul

i want to be what people call a legend
wait for it
dary
person

someone who will always be remembered
alexander the great
julius ceaser

i want my name to be so old
that the letters of my name
crumble from the pages of time
i want to be remembered
 i want to be
legend
wait for it
dary
breathing fire
wasting time
long long journeys
adventures in space
creative thinking
single, mingling
heated nights
safe, late, tight
bring it home
call the dog a wife
bring your fears
or bring your trife
no such thing as losing life

i once broke out into rap... and this is what it sounded like...

PROMPT

but nothing good rhymes with sherlock or holmes


im like the real detect, sherlock,
i keep your suspisions under lock,
i grab that evidence like a bitch be grabbin a cock,
i cook rock, carry big gloccs
i got more money honey then yo man bill got
im like ten times better then you ever gon meet now bitch get me something to eat,
gimme some restitution,
cuz i be your solution,
i got that crack like pollution,
im fusin,
bitch im hot,
aint got that fire like robin got,
and fear not i wont stop,
cant stop this is why i AM hip hop



PROMPT
you're so white :P

but my flow is tight
this bitch knowwwsss how to write

moment

So tired of these games of yours
Finished with this grown up buisness
No more feelings
No more worries
I dont know where my youth has gone
But ive been living in this gray area for far to long
I want the sunshine to rain on me
And when i grow up and see my life has passed me by
I can say atleast i had this moment of clarity.

any feeling but this

So ive been looking for..
inspiration
sensation
To feed my inflation
Saturating in pure fabrications and alienation
I am numb.
I want to feel that feeling
Feel the meaning.
Rise up over this desperation.
And gain infinite value.
Bliss? Worth? Even faith.
Bring me to my maker.
I want to be made.

New found glory

these days i breathe easy
easier
easier than i ever have
i have lost the weight on my chest
that weighed me down for so long
i have gained value
i feel self worth
easy lifting
easy breathing
these days i feel happy
happier
than i ever have before
a happiness not brought
by anyone other than myself
no special person
just me
these days im me.
and thats a great change.

an attempt influenced by rap

you walk around saying you just dont care, shitting on my name;
well bitches realize this isnt a game, i dont give a fuck about u
i cant even remember your name.
i was there for u through thick and thin
when i couldnt deal with ur shit, you tried to give the story a spin.
no one knows you better than me
i know youre half assin and all that you do
you make your life much harder than it needs to 
you go on causin shit thats, totally pointless
but believe me bitch, i feel the need to reinforce this
dont talk shit; or make up tales
not when the one your attacking, knows the true story;
and is better at sales
if u catch my drift; ill sell your shit.
make u look like: a real dumb bitch.
but not that i need too
not in the slightest
ugly bitches like you act like a virus
spread your seed for free
but wait does ur shit spread h.i.v
your dumbass nature, is crystal clear
its noticed by all that can hear
when you open your mouth,
hoe comes out
so shut ur trap, and remember "if shes in to crack, send her back"
BITCH

action packed morning,

The whole worlds in shambles.
Obliviously,
we are blissfully unaware.
We are humans.
Contradictions.
Creating our own specifications, expectations, problems
To feel less small in this world,
to belong
"To see the light"
Its a lonely day to realize
there is no light.
there is no tunnel
for there is no worth in finding out;
we were wrong all along.
Living our lives; on a quest for understanding
We make it complicated
And than we cant solve it.
Its a lonely day to set fire to our sails
and take the dive

head in the oven- so old.

Days pass
The sun wakes up
And then returns to its gentle slumber once more
Nights grow cooler
And days are shorter
The fresh green leaves
Morph into warm, brilliant colours of
Red, yellow, and orange
Another season gone
Smiles have faded
Memories seem more distant
And my heart continues to weaken.

Months now pass like rain droplets
In a thunder storm
My admiration for her
Never lessens
Never stops growing
My letters go unanswered.

Cold winter nights
Bite at my fingertips
As I lay awake in bed
Thinking of her
And the summer that has passed
Her being
Is vivid in my mind
Her unforgettable grace
Makes my whole body ache

I am trapped in our memories
I can not escape us
Every where I go
I am haunted by the ghosts
Of how we used to be

I continue to write her
I continue to believe in a dream
I keep myself for her
I will not feel anything
Until I have her again.

a combo of small poems/ insults

when my eyes dry up,
raisin-ate themselves,
and fall outta my head
yeah, that'll be the day i forget you.


"


Only one way too say i love you,
Two ways too say goodbye,
Three ways too say i'll never forget you,
Four ways too make me cry.

"

i feel the magic,
falling backwards,
head first,
take me too the bed,
let's start this fire.


"

-don't you know me
i'm your dishonesty
i'm the tears in your eyes
the happiest of lies
congratulations, you have won


"


youre like the soul of my shoe
everytime i walk
I CRUSH YOU.

"

days of angst

sometimes i miss the way everything used to be
like when we were eachothers lives
and there was nothing we didnt know about eachother
we shared everything
we spent all of our time with one another
we laughed and cried together
but months have gone by
and in this short time we grew up
now nothings the same
now that you guys aren’t my only life
but even though we aren’t together
I still love you
And I always will
And I won’t forget you.
Because you guys are my family and bloodlines never die.

massogonist love affair.

She is beautiful
Graceful
A real flower
You are angry
Lost in self turmoil
She gave you a home
The security
And you are why her petals fall off
She loses herself
A lively one
Becomes stone cold
You have wilted her
And made it known
You are why my petals fell off

at somepoint you did have me

One day you will find away
To say all you never got to say
You will never feel complete
But you will be content with where you are
You will never have to feel so sad
When nobody wants to hold you
You will know you are wrong
Cause I was there
And I wanted too

falling out of love

these days pass by quickly
some what like a blur
i try to keep up with them
feels like im walking along
an unsteady tight rope
attempting to balance
slipping, slowly
slowly
f
a
l
l
i
n
g
not an option.

fuck,

FUUUUUUUUUUCK!
is that an appropriate way to a poem?
FUUUUUUCK YOUUUU?
how about that.
or.
FUCK IT.
...





Fuck it.
Fuck it.
Fuck it.
this itch
fuck this itch.
it creeps
and crawls under my skin
up and down my spine
it clings to me, when i attempt to brush it away.
burrowing deeper under my flesh
through the layers of my skin
it breaks out into my body
rides the waves of crimson;
through my bloodstream and into my heart.
fuck it
fuck this itch.
fuck you.

another one bites the dust

ts twisted and unreliable
you follow the strands
that fray away from the rope that kept you together
grasping at straws
no way to hold on to what you had
the frayed ends tell you
simulated defeat
flickers of light from a candle so far in the distance
so far from where you need to see
to far to shed some light on the situation.
the truth is
there is no situation
nothing to fight for
no reason to make a fuss about.
unplugged and far from relief
now to start a new
with someone of a lesser caliber

you asked for dessert;
ill give you disaster.

the impact

GUN SHOTS ABLAZZZEE
hear the sounds
of pounding rounds
da da da around and around
circling you
RUN
if you want too...
BUT
if you want me to lay down the law
its simple
this life will consume you
unless you pick the shield
but of course anyone like you wouldn't choose the dark side
ignore your jedimindtricks
and assemble

there is no room for you in unity

shallow little girl

hi my name is empty head
empty headed freak
i cant tell you much about anything
but i sure can make you smile
if you stay around a little longer than a while
ill show you im human, under every mis-sewn seam
if i could realize where i was meant to be in this endless night
i would rule it.
i would conquer all that there was
all there was to see, hear and touch, taste
my senses are the only thing i feel confident in.
i am a babling brook
lost in between rocks and pebbles
lost in the nooks and crannies of the world
a stream of life seeps through me quickly
a light at the end of a tunnel perhaps?
but i don't know where i am headed
i don't know where it is i stand
i need time to be free,
cleaner oxygen to breathe,
and i know life; its just beginning but i feel the end indeed.

now you tell me

 how do you mend a broken heart?
one with torn out stitches
one that itches
one that's spraying blood
how do you fix something so fragile
something so unsure of
and if something magical happens
and somehow its fixed.
how can you expect to hold on to it
as it ticks
itches
and spits?
how do you pump life into something,
that is so close to dead.
how do you correct mistakes
that you haven't made?
how do you erase a past that left this heart like this?
and even if you manage too
the blood
the itch
the spritz
it will surface.